Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I will be naked everywhere
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
