just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
