i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
