I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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