watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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