It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
