hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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