roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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