I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
