it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
