You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
