Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
