It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
