If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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