Don't you send me to vm
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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