One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
