I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
