shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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