...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
