Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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