I CAN MOONWALK!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize