We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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