Jerry, you need to find god
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
