dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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