I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
