i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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