too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
