If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?