dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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