have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
