Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
