you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
that is very illegal...i love you.
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