you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.