ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night