I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
