it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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