32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
