Soap is not a condiment
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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