he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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