Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
