Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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