I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
