sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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