your thong is hanging out like whoa
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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