I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This toilet bowl is my home.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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