Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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