Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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