Umm I'm too high to move.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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