come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
