you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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