I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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