??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
