Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
