So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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