Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
