in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
