it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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