oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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