I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
