If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
