Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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