is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
