We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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