no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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