so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
