ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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