Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
