Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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