im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
