She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
