i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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