It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
